If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.