What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.