What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.