What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.