Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.