What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.