How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.