Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!