What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!