Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.