How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.