What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.