Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.