Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.