Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.