Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.