What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.