Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.