Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!