How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot