Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.