Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me