How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.