What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.