Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.