What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.