What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.