What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.