Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.