What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.