What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.