What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.