How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.