How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.