How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.