What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.