What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.