How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.