Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.