Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.