Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.