What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.