Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.