What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.