What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.