My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.