Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless