Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla