Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!