Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.