I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.