What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish