What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!