Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,