If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.