Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.