What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.