Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.