Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.