How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.