What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.