What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.