What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.