Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.