Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.