What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”