What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.