What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.