Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”