Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.