Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.