What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
I like you, you croc my world.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.