What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
I like you, you croc my world.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly