What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
I like you, you croc my world.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.