What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
I like you, you croc my world.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!