Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.