How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.