Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.