How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.