Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.