How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.