What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.