Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.