What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.