What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.