What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.