What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.