What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.