What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.