Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!