What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.