What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!