What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!