What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!