What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!