What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!