Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!