What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!