What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.