Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.