Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!